Like most others, I am a seeker, a mover, a malcontent, and at times a stupid hell-raiser. I never idle long enough to do much thinking, but I feel somehow that some of us are making real progress, that we have taken an honest road, and that the best of us would inevitably make it over the top. At the same time, I share a dark suspicion that the life we we're leading is a lost cause, that we are all actors, kidding ourselves along on a senseless odyssey. It is the tension between these two poles - a restless idealism on one hand and a sense of impending doom on the other - that keeps me going